"To those who grounded me, I'm Finally Defying Gravity"

I'm moved in. most of all my stuff is here and I'm starting to get back into the groove but at the same time


something is totally missing. Actually a lot of things.

Sam for starters. Katie and I got together last night and we started talking and we both said something about her and we both got real sad and i think we both almost started to tear up. I even told katie last night I'm so happy that she is here because I don't know what I would do without her here. I think the two of us are going to get closer this year.

Then it's the BIG gap in me, the cp gang. I know for a fact.

I miss them all so much. I'm hoping to talk to devin ro jen (possibly ricky) today. i dunno. we'll see. I seriously don't think a few days will go by this semester without me talking to one of them. i dunno

I do miss them like crazy. keep your fingers crossed about a job for me so i can visit them! hehe

So i walked into this weekend so psyched about going back to school.

but now, I don't want to go.

I feel empty since I left. like there is something missing from me


I don't want to go back to school for the first time EVER. THIS IS NOT GOOD


Tomorrow I move in, we shall see what happens next

Warning: I wrote all of this when I got totally pissed off tonight and years and years and years of buildup and frustration came out

You have been warned... this ain't pretty

At one point tonight in a phone conversation a friend told me It wasn't fair what she did to me.
 I said in repsonse, who said life is fair? life isn't fair! I KNOW!

Well, tonight in an im conversation I vented all the years of buildup of what wasn't fair to me.

 i mean in middle school i just always got stepped on and used just to get to cooler kids and then tossed to the side when people were done with me
i was always stepped on and then when i went to talk to them they looked at me like i was an alien
people found me annogying and so happy and so i learned to sheild my emotions really well in middle school

and then in high school when i actually get the guts to ask a guy out he says no but then after i asked him out i started to like him and then he gets a crush on my best friend
after that my next crush happened to be one of my best friend's younger brother and that just caused all sorts of problems because she kept everything in her power to keep us apart
she set him up with someone else
slammed me up against a locker and threatened me
then i get in this huge battle and fight between all of my friends who were graduating
and everytime i tried to shine with that group of friends i never felt like i was good enough because they always were acting like they were so much better than everyone else

senior year i kept everything together in all my organizations i was in because if it wasn't for me everyone would have fought and every single day i had to deal with someone knowing how much i care but not caring back and then someone stealing my dream role from me

I have never had a boyfriend and I have never been kissed
I don't know what it's like to be in a relationship
I was always running around behind the scenes and never got the thanks that i deserve
always the wannabe, never the star
well, now that i'm in college and doing what I want and i have a great group of girls behind me in everything I do
 I can be everything you never thought I could be and more

this is to those in middle school and high school who did exactly that to me

I gots a new icon


megs... you'll like this one

Well, Devin was trying to get me out there to dayton, ohio for her birthday.


so i started looking up prices and i was looking at at least 300 for the roundtrip so i decided to talk to my parents and see if i could get half paid as a birthday or christmas present.

then today my dad goes "well, let me check my frequent flyer miles!" and now I'm flying to ohio for only 15 dollars!


how did this happen?

how did we pull this off???

I'll never know but i freakin love it! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***What You Really Think Of Your Friends***

Katie is your soulmate.

You truly love Brittany.

You consider Megs your true friend.

You know that Helen is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Sam for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Melissa is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Becky is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Perry is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Perry changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Bekka is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Bekka has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoyoureallythinkofyourfriendsquiz/



***Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking***


You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.
You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk.

You should major in:

Philosophy
Music
Theology
Art
History
Foreign language


What Should You Major In?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatshouldyoumajorinquiz/



'm a little freaked but it's all good

Well, I started work this week.

my clock in number is 222.... that will be soooooooooooo easy for me to remember now won't it Brandi and Jade???

and my position number is 310. That's the same number camp snoopy was as a ride last summer.

Can my life get any easier???? honestly?




also, i'm thinking of getting a second hole priceing in my ears... i seriously want it due

Well, I finally got a job.

Last Thursday I went around town and dropped off a few applications. I dropped one off at TJ Max, Office Depot, Fridays, Hoss's, Fashion Bug, KMart, Olive Garden, and Perkins.

Out of all of them two had for hire signs up and they were Office Depot and Fashion Bug. I was hoping for fashion bug as of thursday. Friday morning I wake up to a call "Hi I'm calling on behalf of the Olive Garden and I was wondering if you could come in for an interview today at 3?" They don't waste any time do they?

So I went and got a call monday "Can you come back in so we can put you into the computer and some paperwork today between 2-4 so you can start training soon" I GOT FREAKIN HIRED!

So, today I go in to get "orientated" (as Stainbrook would say) at 230. I got a hostess position there. I'm so freakin excited it's unreal!

I've always heard about people having a conniption but I've never seen one.
You don't want to see 'em.
My wife's face split. My wife's face split and the skin and hair split and came off of her face so that there was nothing except a skull.
And orange lights came out of her hair and there was glitter all around.
And fire shot from her eye sockets and began to burn my stomach and she said, "WHERE DID THEY GET CHOCOLATE CAKE FROM?"



hehe . .it's abmazing

Well, I got back from Iowa yesterday. And i had one of the most amazing times there. I totally miss it.

But now friday I get to go to the high school for the without a cue show.

can not wait!

now i have to go and make dinner tonight hehe!

Yes, tomorrow at this time i will be on the road for iowa


odyssey of the mind worlds.


SO FREAKIN EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!


that is all for now

So I'm in williamsport.

I have been since saturday night.

I went up to the high school today to see a without a cue show. It's been a year and a half since I've been there and two years since I've seen two of the people tonight. So weird.

I dunno. . .I'm in weird states lately.

I don't know where I want to be right now.

I'm making this my last entry from the room 224 Shafer. Why?

Well, tomorrow my brother will be coming to pick up my stuff including my computer. Today I took down 58 pictures and that's just including my closest, dresser, desk and compy. 58 pictures from the last 3 years of my life.

It's been a burl but it's getting all packed up. So many memories in this room that I can't count them all.

Jade knocking so much on the door cause it was locked.
Just my bed in the room cause my roomie moved out.
Tiffany moving in.
The craziness that was never cleaned up.
Late night chats in the room.
The sleepovers.
The crazy decorations.
Whitney's and coz's surprises on the door.
The endless messages.
The stuff animal battles.
Everything. . . so many memories in this room it's so unreal.

Gonna miss it but I don't think I'll be back. Not to this room at least. I'm movin on.

It's scarey but hey, i can't change it.

Gonna miss this semester. It's been one of my best so far.

Also, if i don't get back here before may 13, so long spring semester 2006! but i may be here before that I dunno. It will be an emotional last week. Wish me luck!

Well, tonight I ran my first meeting.

Tonight I was inducted as president.

Tonight I got to hear wonderful words of wisdom.

Tonight I found out how proud I have made some girls.

Tonight I gave gifts to two of the most beautiful women I know and love more than anything.

Tonight was graduation. The meeting I have been dreading for an entire year. The meeting I have not looked forward to since last spring's graduation and tonight. ... of all graduations, I had to run it.

I did much better than I thought I was going to do. I loved Katie's little giggle when I said her nam and then stepped up to give her her present. The sob in my throat when I said Sam's name before I gave her her present. The words we exchanged along with the hug. The words from momma la and momma fleegs to us and the look of such proud momma's as they looked to the babies they have on e-board.

the laughter shared, the tears cried and the beautiful girls that give me everything to write about and more.

These girls are my loves. I couldn't ask for anything more. And you mess with them, you have no idea what is coming.

even though someone else got motion to close tonight, I know for at least 12 girls, i closed their dts chapter for them, and honestly there is nothing better in my eyes.

so tomorrow I meet up with Alyssa.

Today I met up with Kris.

This is really happening isn't it?

So i was writing my letter to my little today (which she will get at formal) and i realized what a beautiful semester this really was.

not a whole lot of drama, lots of fun, i got to a lot of girls better, and i got to meet some amazing new girls.

This has been a great semester. I'm just really sad it's going to end. But i must say, that on sunday, it will be a bittersweet meeting.



and for once. .. i can honestly say i'm actually excited about dts for next semester. i thought i would be rough and i couldn't say that ever but i am now. and it's kind of exciting. The girls on e-board are coming up with great ideas and are really excited about it. That's really amazing to me.


well i must go i need to get out of my pj's i put on for a nap and get ready to croch ett!

see ya!

So as I was stepping out of the Library earlier today I noticed a group of 4 girls kind of walking the same direction. I stop and i notice it's sam, fleegal, la and liz.

So the turn a corner and the first one to see me is la and she and i open arms and slowly start walking toward each other as if to hug. well. .. sam sees me and basically runs to me before la and throws her arms around me.

as we are in a hug i hear la " you better be done by the time i get there"

sam snaps back " she's my little! I'll never be done!"

pretty much at that moment la throws her arms around the two of us. then moments later fleegal comes running over and joins. We stand for a few moments and hear liz say "I would join but i don't like to share" so after we break I give liz a hug.

Oh what a way to make the day great. A giant group hug from those 3 BEAUTIFUL ladies. Honestly, i think that was the best moment of the semester. .. well, one of them at least.


and just now i got a call saying katie kimble dyed her hair! Oh i can't wait to see it! hehe

read the entry before this one. .


and then let me tell you my legs are sore as all get out, my head aches and my shoulders are sore from helping Jessica bring up the favors that got mailed to them to their room yesterday.

It was a 29 pound box . . up two flights of stairs.




yea. . understandable uh?