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Nov. 8th, 2006 | 05:49 pm

And so I've realized you've won, that you win.
That i'll throw in the towel and try to move on.
It's hurts, it's sucks but I'm not what is wanted.
So you win, I lose, this is nothing new.
I've played this game before, and it happens everytime.
And I'm left alone, in the dust,
wondering where did i go wrong?
With tears running down my face,
hoping I wasn't the one,
to make the mistake.

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so.. yea...

Aug. 25th, 2006 | 02:32 pm

I'm moved in. most of all my stuff is here and I'm starting to get back into the groove but at the same time


something is totally missing. Actually a lot of things.

Sam for starters. Katie and I got together last night and we started talking and we both said something about her and we both got real sad and i think we both almost started to tear up. I even told katie last night I'm so happy that she is here because I don't know what I would do without her here. I think the two of us are going to get closer this year.

Then it's the BIG gap in me, the cp gang. I know for a fact.

I miss them all so much. I'm hoping to talk to devin ro jen (possibly ricky) today. i dunno. we'll see. I seriously don't think a few days will go by this semester without me talking to one of them. i dunno

I do miss them like crazy. keep your fingers crossed about a job for me so i can visit them! hehe

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why do things have to be so hard?

Aug. 23rd, 2006 | 02:55 pm

So i walked into this weekend so psyched about going back to school.

but now, I don't want to go.

I feel empty since I left. like there is something missing from me


I don't want to go back to school for the first time EVER. THIS IS NOT GOOD


Tomorrow I move in, we shall see what happens next

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This is my Time

Aug. 1st, 2006 | 07:22 pm


 At times i felt like i had lost myself,
Cause people try to make you someone else,
I had to learn to trust my heart so
Things can change

I came to a point where i could speak my mind
And not feel im living in a box and keep the girl i am concealed ..
 i finally found the strength so i can leave it that all behind

This is my time to shine
This is my place to find all that i have inside i never knew
I never knew
This is my time to show
What i must have always known that nothings impossible
And dreams come true

everybodys got the strength inside all it takes is time to realize
That you and only you can be the one to decide

I can i will i know that everything i want i can do believing in myself
That every wish i make will come true ooo
I took a while to get this far but im here now

This is my time to shine
This is my place to find all that i have inside i never knew
I never knew
This is my time to show
What i must have always known that nothings impossible
And dreams come true

Overcoming all these things .
Here i finally found my wings ..
Now i know im ready to flyyyyyyyyy....

This is my time to shine
This is my place to find all that i have inside i never knew
I never knew no
This is my time to show
What i must have always known
That nothings impossible and dreams come true
(And dreams come true)

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(no subject)

Aug. 1st, 2006 | 01:51 pm
music: High - James Blunt

Warning: I wrote all of this when I got totally pissed off tonight and years and years and years of buildup and frustration came out

You have been warned... this ain't pretty

At one point tonight in a phone conversation a friend told me It wasn't fair what she did to me.
 I said in repsonse, who said life is fair? life isn't fair! I KNOW!

Well, tonight in an im conversation I vented all the years of buildup of what wasn't fair to me.

 i mean in middle school i just always got stepped on and used just to get to cooler kids and then tossed to the side when people were done with me
i was always stepped on and then when i went to talk to them they looked at me like i was an alien
people found me annogying and so happy and so i learned to sheild my emotions really well in middle school

and then in high school when i actually get the guts to ask a guy out he says no but then after i asked him out i started to like him and then he gets a crush on my best friend
after that my next crush happened to be one of my best friend's younger brother and that just caused all sorts of problems because she kept everything in her power to keep us apart
she set him up with someone else
slammed me up against a locker and threatened me
then i get in this huge battle and fight between all of my friends who were graduating
and everytime i tried to shine with that group of friends i never felt like i was good enough because they always were acting like they were so much better than everyone else

senior year i kept everything together in all my organizations i was in because if it wasn't for me everyone would have fought and every single day i had to deal with someone knowing how much i care but not caring back and then someone stealing my dream role from me

I have never had a boyfriend and I have never been kissed
I don't know what it's like to be in a relationship
I was always running around behind the scenes and never got the thanks that i deserve
always the wannabe, never the star
well, now that i'm in college and doing what I want and i have a great group of girls behind me in everything I do
 I can be everything you never thought I could be and more

this is to those in middle school and high school who did exactly that to me

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new icon

Aug. 1st, 2006 | 01:24 am

I gots a new icon


megs... you'll like this one

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It starts and ends in an

Jul. 30th, 2006 | 12:22 am
location: the office
mood: hyperhyper
music: Payphone - M2M

Well, Devin was trying to get me out there to dayton, ohio for her birthday.


so i started looking up prices and i was looking at at least 300 for the roundtrip so i decided to talk to my parents and see if i could get half paid as a birthday or christmas present.

then today my dad goes "well, let me check my frequent flyer miles!" and now I'm flying to ohio for only 15 dollars!


how did this happen?

how did we pull this off???

I'll never know but i freakin love it! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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(no subject)

Jul. 5th, 2006 | 11:31 pm

***What You Really Think Of Your Friends***

Katie is your soulmate.

You truly love Brittany.

You consider Megs your true friend.

You know that Helen is always thinking of you.

You'll remember Sam for the rest of your life.

You secretly think Melissa is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.

You secretly think that Becky is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.

You secretly think that Perry is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Perry changes lovers faster than underwear.

You secretly think Bekka is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Bekka has a hidden internet romance.

What Do You Think of Your Friends?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoyoureallythinkofyourfriendsquiz/



***Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking***


You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.
You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk.

You should major in:

Philosophy
Music
Theology
Art
History
Foreign language


What Should You Major In?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatshouldyoumajorinquiz/



'm a little freaked but it's all good

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old numbers coming back

Jun. 21st, 2006 | 09:54 pm
mood: whatever
music: solsbury hill

Well, I started work this week.

my clock in number is 222.... that will be soooooooooooo easy for me to remember now won't it Brandi and Jade???

and my position number is 310. That's the same number camp snoopy was as a ride last summer.

Can my life get any easier???? honestly?




also, i'm thinking of getting a second hole priceing in my ears... i seriously want it due

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Its been a while

Jun. 14th, 2006 | 12:49 pm
mood: scuba elephant-ish
music: the shower in the bathroom running

Well, I finally got a job.

Last Thursday I went around town and dropped off a few applications. I dropped one off at TJ Max, Office Depot, Fridays, Hoss's, Fashion Bug, KMart, Olive Garden, and Perkins.

Out of all of them two had for hire signs up and they were Office Depot and Fashion Bug. I was hoping for fashion bug as of thursday. Friday morning I wake up to a call "Hi I'm calling on behalf of the Olive Garden and I was wondering if you could come in for an interview today at 3?" They don't waste any time do they?

So I went and got a call monday "Can you come back in so we can put you into the computer and some paperwork today between 2-4 so you can start training soon" I GOT FREAKIN HIRED!

So, today I go in to get "orientated" (as Stainbrook would say) at 230. I got a hostess position there. I'm so freakin excited it's unreal!

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